Peace and joy to everyone reading this. To be honest, I am both excited and terrified about writing my first blog. See, having always been one to keep to myself its rather a dreadful experience, but God has been instructing me to do his will . That includes being open and honest and that is daunting as I become vulnerable.
But listen, I have come to the realisation that it is better to please God that human beings. God is my everything and if I must be a fool for him then so be it. No pretending, just me. See the world is full of pretenders, even Christians these days, everyone seems to have it all put together. The word of God says in 2 Corinthians 12 verse 9 ..But he said to me, ” My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness”… So if we pretend to be strong then we may also say we don’t need God. Because his strength is made perfect in our weakness. But, that’s not what we are talking about today is it 😊?
So here goes my story, well part of it anyways . My name as you probably know is Shalom, which means peace and guess what that is exactly what the devil has fought so much that I may never experience. From the age of 5 , I had struggled with self-worth, so much so that it became a deep wound in me that never healed. It controlled my actions, my personality , basically it became me.
I became afraid of everything, felt unworthy, hated myself, put a wall around myself, became defensive and threw myself pity parties 😂. The problem was I never shared it with anyone, never let God work on it until just recently.
How did this all start ?All I can remember is that at a 5yrs old I lived with so many relatives, my parents worked a lot and were hardly home. These relatives constantly spoke of how ugly they thought I was, how they thought I would never amount to anything. Honestly I don’t blame them it was the plan of the devil. He was set on destroying me from a young age.
From then that’s all I seemed to hear, failure , defeat, ugly and It seemed to go on forever. Unfortunately I began to believe it, growing up I started to search for ways to find my self-worth.
I became trapped, was defined by people and was always seeking approval from people, if not I would just keep to myself in fear of rejection and offence. Listen, I was a mess, but I covered it up never accepted the problem, and became a victim. I began to look for self worth in possessions, in relationships, and broke people’s hearts as no one would ever have the right words.
What I needed was God. No one can take God’s place in your life. There is a void in all of us that only God can fill. See there is no victory in being a victim. Friends, let us look to God , let us have a relationship with him. It is our relationship with him, our knowing him that brings us victory and freedom from chains.
Our worth comes from God, Philippians 3:3 says …we glory ourselves in Jesus Christ and put no confidence in the flesh, outward appearances, physical advantages and external appearances. The Bible also says in Philippians 4:13 that we are sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency. So our worth, our strength, the definition of who we are comes from him. Your worth does not come from how many likes you get, how you look, what you own, neither does it come from who you are in a relationship with. No friends our worth comes from God, who loved us so much, saw us as worthy for his son Jesus Christ to be slain for our sakes. God actually set us apart, choose us, loved us and destined us.
So my Question is What determines your self worth?
Now thanks be to God I am free from those chains that bound me for years. I know that I am fearfully and wonderfully made(Psalms 139:14), I am loved by God and my worth comes from him. Same as to you reader, if you need healing from any area of your life. Allow God to be your friend and have a truthful relationship with him. May God’s sufficient grace be with you.
In his service